Beautyful Read online



  Beautyful

  by Billione

  a poetic experience

  Beautyful

  by Billione

  Copyright © 2011 by Kilmgely Books

  Beautyful © 2011 by Kilmgely Books

  All poems written by Billione except where noted

  Published by Kilmgely Books

  A division of Billione Multimedia LLC.

  No part of this publication may be

  reproduced in any manner without

  written permission from the publisher.

  Send inquires to:

  Kilmgely Books PO Box 20732

  Ferndale, MI 48220

  Cover Photo “Lavendar Rose”

  by Marcia Thompson/ladyloneranger

  For more information, visit

  Billione Multimedia

  First eBook Edition

  To LaToya Abraham,

  Charlene Martin and

  Erica L. Shelby

  “When you reach the heart of life

  you shall find beauty in all things,

  even in the eyes that are blind to beauty.”

  -Kahlil Gibran

  Billione | Beautyful

  CONTENTS

  NORTH: Words & Other Weapons

  ONE: Beautyful

  TWO: Adam

  THREE: Purple Flowers

  FOUR: of the Essence

  FIVE. Supreme

  SIX: (The Day) Before Yesterday

  SEVEN: Bitter Sweet Cocktails or Tragic Love Stories

  SOUTH: Symbiotic

  Also by Billione

  Love: In Hindsight

  USA: United States of Adversity

  Centric

  Forthcoming from Billione

  The Birth of Mars

  Acknowledgement

  Thank you to the Force that rebirths me every day.

  Pharoe: Thank you for your positive energy, the pleasure of collaborating with you, and allowing me to share your work. Namaste!

  Shawny, Ryan, Neo: Thank you for your constant support and for not allowing me to give up, even when I feel that is the only option.

  LaToya, Charlene, and Erica: The three of you have helped me grow and see my own beauty in ways I am uncovering every day. Thank you for everything you have done to make me a better person.

  A special thank you to my mother, Edwina White, for starting me on my writing journey and being the first person I knew to write creatively. May all your lost journals relive in everything I ever write. Thank you to my father, Victor White, brothers Vencent and Terrence, Angelicia, Monae, and my cousin Eddie Lee.

  David and Shelly: Thank you for challenging me and helping me uncover my power. Sending many hugs to my niece and nephews, Ahmira, KJ and Terrence II. Thank you, Mae Kyles, Oliver Buffington, Jr., Shay Fitzpatrick, Lisa Lipscomb, Corey Larkins, Rayona Young, Adaora Bandele, Bilal and Kalojni.

  Extra special thanks to Aquarius Press, Nathan Bullens, Blair, Sylvia Hubbard, Dessa Cosma, Monica Marie Jones, Jus Buckingham, Rico Razo, Mark Coker, Dave Woodward, Nathan Gallaway, Tamara Halliburton, Seth Carwyn, Randall Horton, Tracy Smith, London Bell, Chucky Boyd, Brian Whitehead and everyone who supports my writing journey.

  Special thanks to my friends in every since of the word: Erin Tripp, Greg Brown, Elizabeth Fleming, Crystal Campbell, Torii Hamilton, Legacy Leonard, Max Matthies, Simone Chess and baby Esther. Glennisha Morgan, Cognito Blak, Ahmed Logan and Rhett Reyes.

  I love each and every one of you in a very special and beautyful way.

  Words & Other Weapons

  Look for my journey in the margins

  Of pages

  In tablets resting

  At the edge of my bed

  Peacefully, right at my thigh

  Warm, in the folds of a blanket that

  Smells like Me

  Spilling into the world remarks

  On my behalf

  I sleep well knowing these references are

  Framed in revolution

  Evolving into stories time has forgotten

  Bent back far enough to reveal its face

  To me

  I remember that face

  I have slept with it

  Knowing it like love that

  Left me just before dawn

  Came back before the night air

  Blew too strong

  I remember that face

  I fought with it

  Closed fists, held close to my chest

  Tucked away my peace in the

  Pocket of my vest

  I remember that face

  I learned from it

  Cried for it when I thought it was ruined

  Found it looking for victories

  Amidst ruins

  I remember that face

  Left by hungry opportunity seekers

  I write these tears

  Rather than show them

  Fight these fears

  Rather than own them

  Speak now! Speak your truth

  Fiction does not live here

  Your silence cannot save you

  Beautyful

  Take these lips

  That have kissed well

  Sewn at their creases

  Un-silenced

  The truth my tongue knows

  Gouge these eyes

  That have seen

  Beauty

  Dumb down my pupils

  That they learn nothing

  Illusive

  The vastness of Justice

  Tear my flesh

  With whips and daggers

  Burn my wounds

  As I calmly stagger

  You will never have ME

  Or the source of my peace

  Adam

  The whole world is in love with you

  Tragic Manchild

  Let me know

  Is there something I can do

  To ease the pressure

  As it grows

  Give it to me to hold

  I’ll keep it deeply in my soul

  All the things you can’t let go

  Bring to me

  Purple Flowers

  I want to know what it feels like

  To lie in fields of purple flowers

  Remembering my first kiss

  Soil pressed against my blindness

  Sun robbing me of my secrets

  Not mattering at all that I am not

  Who I use to be

  The smell of peace surrounding me

  Staining my nostrils

  With fragrant morsels

  Of God's forgotten

  I want to rest in the dirt

  While grubs crawl between my toes

  Bumble bees tickling my nose

  Reminding me that nothing is more

  Precious than the moment I realize

  That no one is there but me

  of the Essence

  Moments

  fused together

  by a need to be kept

  Triggered by scents

  that trick the senses

  into believing that one is

  in love

  I wait for you

  in a moment that

  eludes us

  We wait for what is true

  It does not come

  Supreme

  His brown locks

  Silky as he is strong

  Dangle at his waist

  Perfectly

  Waiting for me

  Brushing across mountains

  Fertile, navigable terrains

  Made for me

  His landscape stretches across the globe

  Giving birth to my desires

  I lay my head on his Houston

  Kiss his Kingston

  Inhale all his Iwo

  And pla
ce my peace in his Paris

  I whisper his name

  I was made for him

  To spend my life in his valley

  Guarding his jewel

  Being the moon to his Mercury

  Submitting my Venus to his Sun

  As I cower at the sight of it

  Wallow in the light of it

  Growing in his eminence

  As he flows through me

  (The Day) Before Yesterday

  Before yesterday

  I was unfamiliar with the

  Sting of closed fists,

  False tenderness and

  The parts of myself I lost to bitterness

  If I could go back

  To that day,

  When you were not even a concept and

  Forget you

  I would again be that man

  I once knew

  Forgive him for being lonely enough

  To allow you

  To take from him

  That solitary day of

  Quite

  Bittersweet Cocktails or

  Tragic Love Stories

  It was bitter

  With enough sweetness

  To soften the blows

  It was ours

  Went down SLOW

  We injured ourselves

  With venom

  Saturated our soft spots

  We wanted this

  It was our story

  We were characters

  Waiting for cues

  (Cross Right)

  We weren't ready

  We made our exits

  Stage Left!

  Hung out in the wings

  Hoped to be seen

  Made our marks on bar stools

  Swinging one way or another

  Lost sight of intentions

  Propped up

  Fading at the edges

  Prototypes with no inner voices

  Choosing life

  When there are no choices

  Who are we

  Nothing to each other

  Everything to everyone else

  Anyone else

  Just to be held

  By someone, anyone

  Place our pain on their pillows

  Unfamiliar

  Symbiotic

  By Pharoe and Billione

  Behold this

  Moment of wholeness

  It takes boldness

  To be so focused

  History’s locust

  Eats away our pride

  Though it polishes our armor

  Reveals our honor

  It flows in us

  Reforms in us

  This thrust that

  Forced us here

  Placed us in the hands of

  Hope

  And from that hope I gained faith

  That grew into a tree minus leaves,

  With roots borrowing deep

  Into the soul of my peace.

  Uprooting my fears so that I could

  Give birth to a butterfly

  Chaotically struggling to break free

  Follow,

  Lest our journey be hollow,

  Into pathways of better days

  These crossroads be ancient

  Guard our well tended futures

  Teach us to refute this myth of fear

  And walk tall toward all that is good

  Chaos is but wisdom,

  Waiting to be understood

  They have become

  Synonymous with patience,

  This feeling is unanimously vacant

  All I can do is pray and ponder

  Upon the possibilities that I have

  Fathered

  Reared and followed, engulfed and

  Swallowed

  Digested and comprehended into

  Organic visions

  Of infinite versions of my being.

  Replicating myself in fields unworthy

  Waving in the wind in the

  Direction of uncertainty

  Rooted in faith, pure and pristine

  Searching for clues as to

  What it all means

  This just might be all there is

  It ALL is as it stands

  Proof present in its existence

  No formulaic philosophy hidden

  In ideological remittance

  No mystic languages, hoping to be discovered

  We ARE the manifestation of things

  Unseen

  And we live happily

  Among the treasures of the world

  Longing to be the reality

  Of someone’s dream